Dear Tete Joyie:
I am a man aged 50 and my wife passed away two years ago.
She left behind five children. Two of them are married, while three are still under my care.
I married another woman who has three children last year in December.
I am taking care of her children and my own at my home.
I am taking care of everything, including school fees.
Tete, my worry is will our love last long?
What should I do to make our love last forever and keep our children together?
Tete, your advice will help a lot.
Tete Joyie says:
I am sorry for your loss.
It is clear that you are a caring person who is doing his best to provide for your family.
Here are some suggestions that might help strengthen your relationship and keep your family together:
1. Open communication: Regularly talk with your wife and children about their feelings, concerns, and aspirations.
This will help everyone feel heard and understood.
2. Quality time: Spend quality time with your wife and each of your children.
This could be through shared meals, outings, or simply sitting and talking.
3. Show appreciation: Regularly express your love and appreciation to your wife and children.
Small gestures of kindness can go a long way in showing you care.
4. Seek counselling: If you are feeling overwhelmed, it might be helpful to seek advice from a professional counsellor or therapist.
They can provide strategies to help you navigate your situation.
5. Patience: Blending families take time.
Be patient with yourself and your family members as you all adjust to the new family dynamics.
Remember, every family is unique and what works for one might not work for another.
It is important to find what works best for your family.
I hope these suggestions are helpful and I wish you all the best.
My wife kicked me out
Dear Tete Joyie:
I am a man aged 54.
I was customarily married in 1998, and wedded in 2005.
In 2011, I asked my wife to rewrite her ‘O’ Level exams and she passed.
In 2019, she secured a teacher training place at Mkoba Teachers’ College.
During the Covid-19 shutdown, I lost my job.
In 2022, my wife left me.
She went on to throw me out of the house where she is staying at her workplace.
My close friend is now late and I am struggling to find someone to share my grief with.
My wife did not give me a divorce token.
She does not want to officially divorce me, but she does not want to see me near her house.
We had four children together, but one is late.
Tete Joyie says:
It is sad to hear what you are going through.
First, I want to thank you for supporting your wife to be who she is today.
Yes, she has chucked you out, but you need to sit down with her relatives so that you can find common ground.
If she insists on divorce, you should not force matters.
Divorce is a painful experience, especially considering what you did for your wife, but it is not the end of the world.
You should not forget that if a door closes, another one will open for you in future.
Do not lose heart.
You should put your children first in everything and I know they will never turn their backs on you.
If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, Whatsaap 0716 069 196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember all those who write to us remain anonymous