The ManicaPost
Dear Tete Joyie:
I AM a single guy aged 34, and dating a sex worker at one of the local lodges.
She only works at the place once a week as she is trying to pay off her student loan.
She is in college and on attachment at a certain company, but the allowance is not much, so she supplements her income by doing this sort of work.
She is 23.
There was an instant connection between us.
I have never had a serious relationship before, save for one-night stands.
In the past I used sex workers for my gratification, but the connection between me and this girl is something else.
She is amazing.
I told her that we should meet again, but she said she could not guarantee that.
I did not pressurise her.
She was on my mind constantly, so I went back after three weeks, and amazingly, she was working.
I told her that I was falling in love with her.
She said she could not get emotionally attached to me because her boss keeps a close eye, checking that they do not become close to clients.
The last girl who fell for a client was fired.
I don’t want to leave this girl working there.
She is perfect for me.
Tete Joyie says:
She may be, but are you perfect for her?
I am sorry to burst your bubble, but if she felt the same, she should be giving you hints that she was interested.
She should be talking to you about quitting the sex trade and looking to supplement her income some other ways.
She makes you feel special because that is her job.
She is attentive and loving because you are paying for her time.
The guy running the business does not want to lose a popular escort to a punter, hence those discount codes.
Rather than using escorts, networking socially and finding a mutual interest will show you the connection you crave, without it being purely sexual that can come later.
Aim for friendship first rather than looking for girlfriend material.
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Boyfriend impregnated minor
Hie Tete Joyie
I am a single mother who was dating a guy for the past five years and this year we were planning to get married.
He was very low recently, and I asked him what was troubling him and said he was stressed with something he was regretting.
I asked if he had made someone pregnant and he said yes.
He said he had a one-night stand with a girl last year.
He said the girl told him that she was 20, but her family is saying she is 16.
He is scared of going to prison for sleeping with a minor.
I am pained, knowing that I am losing this guy, either by him being sent to prison or he will be forced to marry the girl.
I don’t know how to deal with this.
Tete Joyie says:
I understand that this situation is incredibly difficult and emotionally challenging for you.
Discovering such news can be heartbreaking, especially when you were planning to get married.
Here are some steps you might consider taking:
1. Self-care and emotional support: Take care of yourself during this stressful time.
Reach out to friends, family, or a counsellor to share your feelings and seek emotional support.
Allow yourself to process the shock and sadness.
It is okay to feel hurt and betrayed.
2. Communication with him: Have an open and honest conversation with your partner.
Express your feelings and concerns without judgment.
Ask him about his intentions moving forward.
Does he plan to take responsibility for the situation?
Is he willing to support the child if it’s his?
3. Legal considerations: Understand the legal implications.
If the girl is indeed underage, there may be legal consequences for your partner.
Encourage him to consult a lawyer to understand his rights and responsibilities.
Legal advice is crucial in this situation.
4. Assess your relationship: – Reflect on your relationship.
Consider whether you can move past this betrayal and whether you still want to marry him.
Trust is essential in any partnership.
Evaluate whether you can rebuild trust after this revelation.
5. Seek professional guidance: Consider couples counselling or individual therapy.
A professional can help you navigate your emotions and guide you through making decisions.
Remember that you deserve happiness and a healthy relationship.
6. Support for the child: If the girl is indeed pregnant, she will need support.
Encourage your partner to be responsible and involved.
Regardless of your relationship with him, the child’s well-being should be a priority.
7. Take time to decide: You don’t need to make immediate decisions.
Take time to process everything.
Remember that you are not alone in this.
Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist.
Ultimately, prioritise your well-being and make choices that align with your values and happiness.
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If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, WhatsApp 0716069196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving your problem. Remember all those who write remain anonymous.
