The ManicaPost
FOR the past weeks, I have observed several families coming to seek help for their teenagers and young adults (14-25 years) who are struggling with emotional and psychological challenges.
I thank such parents for investing in their children’s behaviour. This has pushed me to share this article, in case there are more parents with children who need intervention.
As parents, we all wish the best for our children. In today’s world, our children are going through many pressures such that we need to identify problems in time and be able to assist them.
We need to be able to detect normal child, teenage growing/behaviour versus problematic developmental behaviour. You will agree with me that some behaviour is normal.
In such cases children/young persons are behaving in expected and acceptable ways in line with one’s family, community and context.
We assume that as parents and family members, we are usually the first to notice if a child has problems and seek help without any delay. It is important for parents and caregivers to look at how often a behaviour occurs, how long it lasts or the intensity of the behaviour as this will help you to decide if it is a problem or not.
When problems occur for more than a few weeks and significantly interfere with your child’s ability to function, relate or be successful at home or school, you should probably be concerned.
This article will help you to be proactive and seek help before serious trouble.
Specialists and scholars have identified 4Ds as aspects that parents need to be cognisant of to act quickly and help their children. These are deviance, distress, dysfunction, and danger (Ramsden, 2013).
Being aware of the four can make a big difference in the lives of your children. Remember your observations, along with those of teachers and other caregivers, can help determine whether you need to seek help early for your child or not.
Deviant
Deviance can be put across as a kind of action that depicts different character where a child/young person does away with rules and regulations that have been set aside by the society or family.
The young persons deliberately violate norms, showing indifference or extreme behaviour or unusual character that turns to have people question if one is still “ok” in their mind or not.
We may say a child has wild behaviour amongst the rest or the child is rebellious or unruly. A child with normal behaviour is one who demonstrates acceptable conduct in one’s culture, religion or even school. Children who demonstrate deviant behaviour do so against the norms which are believed to be the acceptable codes of conduct.
Distress
Distress is defined as feelings of extreme sorrow, pain, anxiety, misery, anger, and fear which decreases one’s quality of life and well-being. This combines prolonged feelings that have negative impact on your child well-being.
Distress is caused by either unfortunate circumstances or by pleasant yet overwhelming experiences especially major life events. This condition can also be characterised by physical symptoms including heart palpitations, nausea, anxiety, feelings of emotional reactions, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, weight loss, loss of menstruation in women, substance abuse and fatigue. When a child is distressed, they can experience great pain and sadness and as caregivers we need to be available for them to share.
Danger
Danger is defined as activities that are physically and mentally harmful to self and to others. Danger entails that a child/young adult may become a danger to himself or to others, thus measures should be taken to stop them from causing harm to others or themselves.
Some scholars have suggested that young ones who can be dangerous are those that also choose to stay under the influence of substances and drugs. In other words, it is a condition in which one intends to harm self, others, animals and properties and infrastructure. People with this abnormality tend to find relief and soothing from pain or seeing others in pain and in seeing things get destroyed for instance one can sexually abuse another and experience pleasure from discomfort of the other. These children engage in at risk behaviours willingly of through peer pressure.
Dysfunction
This is simply abnormal functioning. In other words, it is a condition in which one ceases to perform the roles that he or she is expected, hence, the person is impaired. Whatever the dysfunction, it must be significant enough to interfere in the child/young person’s life in some major way. A child with dysfunctional behaviour is the one that has kind of behaviour that inhibits them to become fully aware of their own environment and are unable to carry out daily expected family and societal roles. The children may display destructive and confusing behaviour that may cause them to always have interpersonal problems. When you see your child having the above and some of the following signs, this may indicate the need for professional intervention. When a child’s school performance suddenly declines, constant worry and anxiety, persistent disobedience or aggression, refusal to take part in normal home or school activities then we need to act. Some children do have persistent nightmares, depression, and irritability.
So, early identification and intervention can help children and young persons reach their full potential. Delaying in seeking help will only make some behaviour worse and difficult to manage later. Let us catch them before they fall and let us be observant as parents and caregivers. I wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Dr Mazvita Machinga (Ph. D) is a qualified psychotherapist/mental health specialist located in Mutare. For more help and counselling services Call 0771 754 519 or Toll-Free Helpline 08080482
