The ManicaPost
Dear Tete Joyie
Two weeks into our relationship, I cheated on my boyfriend with his brother and one of his friends.
I had fun with them in my boyfriend’s house while he was at work.
This took a matter of 10 minutes. I had been drinking, but I understand that is not an excuse.
I don’t know why I did this, except for the fact that I enjoy performing oral sex on men.
I don’t love myself, and this is the only thing in my life that I feel totally confident in.
I told my boyfriend what had happened because a relationship is supposed to be built on trust, and I felt really guilty.
I apologised and begged him not to leave me.
We stayed together for another four months.
I recently told him that I needed to end our relationship as I felt he did not love me anymore.
He agreed, and said he has not had romantic feelings for me since l cheated on him.
I am hurt because he lied to me about his feelings for four out of five months of our relationship.
If my relationship was ruined because of this 10 minute incident, should his brother’s girlfriend and his friend’s fiancée be informed of what took place?
I guess I feel as though their relationships made it because these girls don’t know about what happened, but mine didn’t because I confessed!
Tete Joyie says:
I am not saying what you did was right, but if you had kept your mouth shut the first time, you would still have this young man.
Now you want to open it again and ruin two other relationships?
My advice is keep your mouth shut, both to having oral sex with the wrong people and telling it to everyone.
You need to learn some self control, so consider not telling these other two women what happened as your first exercise towards learning that skill.
Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right, and trying to destroy two other relationships would be wrong.
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Love-struck with best friend’s brother
Dear Tete Joyie
I am a 21-year-old lady who is completely smitten with my best friend’s brother.
The problem is that he is 19 and feels that I am too old for him.
My best friend knows all about my infatuation, and she has no idea what I should do.
I have written WhatsApp messages to him declaring my undying love for him.
He doesn’t respond to my messages or call me back.
My heart is breaking because he doesn’t feel the same way I DO.
What can I do to get over him?
I know nothing is going to happen between us, although I live in hope.
Please help me.
Tete Joyie says:
I am really sorry that you are hurting so much. Nothing hurts more that when a person you care about doesn’t have feelings for you.
But we all go through rejection at some stage in our lives.
Your best friend’s brother’s actions towards you are evidence that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
As much as you are hurting, he has every right to reject you if he doesn’t feel comfortable.
The age thing obviously bothers him, so you need to just respect and accept that.
Occupy yourself with things that make you happy in order to get over him.
You will one day find your Prince charming, who will love you just as much as you love him and most importantly, will appreciate your messages.
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Should I invite my rude friend?
Dear Tete Joyie
It will be my birthday in a few weeks and my mom said I should decide who I want to invite.
One of my friends who I would really like to invite is very rude towards adults, even her own mom. She always causes problems and she made my party last year horrible.
She is a really nice person, but I don’t want her to ruin my party this year.
Tete Joyie says:
It is your birthday party and that means you can invite whoever you want to share it with.
Just because she is your friend does not mean you are forced to invite her, especially since she causes trouble and always spoils your fun.
Speak to her about how you feel about her bad manners.
If she is a good friend, she won’t be mad at you for approaching her and will make an effort to not be rude at your party.
If, however, she starts shouting at you and is nasty, it is probably a good sign that she should not be at your party.
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◆ If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself, WhatsApp 0716 069 196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember, all those who write in remain anonymous.
