The ManicaPost
I am a 37-year-old man who has been traditionally married for eight years. In the years we have been together she has been nothing, but a problem in my life.
We have one child because she refuses to have another child claiming that the pain of having our child had traumatised her for life. Several times I have asked her to leave, but she always comes back. I have decided to take a second wife, but she scares away all the women I try to engage. My wife also threatens to commit suicide if I leave her. I am devastated and miserable. Help me.
Tete Barbara Responds:
There is absolutely no reason for you to feel miserable in a marriage when communication is an option. You have just not being communicating well and by the looks of it you have let love sleep. Note, I said sleep, not die. It is evident that love is still present in your relationship, it just needs to be awaken. How? Both of you need to visit a professional marriage counsellor to resolve the issue you are both facing in your union. Your wife needs to work through the trauma that has left her afraid of having children. Her fear is not rare, it is quite common, but it can be more severe in some instances. You need to come to a point where you realise that your wife is not undermining your position, but perhaps she is genuinely afraid of having another baby. There is no need of bringing in a third party into this equation. A second wife will just further the drama and cause more commotion. As you are getting counselling, be sure to have her threats to commit suicide addressed as this a clear sign of an unhealthy person. Just be sure that replacing one thing with another does not always solves the problem.
All the best!
