The ManicaPost
Greta Mauwa, Memory Matsikure & Pickmore Matsikure
Parenting — which is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood can be the most enjoyable experience for any individual.
However, in other circumstances it can also be frustrating.
Nothing is tougher than trying to be a parent during a child’s time of crisis. Natural disasters such as Cyclone Idai and the Covid-19 pandemic are typical examples of the crises that can be faced during parenting.
Parents therefore, need to be equipped with the right skills to be able to withstand, recover from, and adapt to a range of acute and chronic challenges associated with parenting in times of crises.
The coronavirus pandemic has turned life upside down and inside out.
Children are out of child care, schools and colleges, without access to group activities such as team sports.
Parents are attempting to work remotely or are unable to work as they take care of their children, with no clarity on how long the situation will last.
As a result, the families are increasingly weary, anxious, uncertain and stressed. This is getting in the way of parenting.
New research from University of Michigan released on March 31, 2020, highlights that children are feeling the psychological and physical brunt of their parents’ stress caused by the novel coronavirus pandemic.
For a large number of parents, financial concerns, social isolation, loneliness and sadness are getting in the way of parenting.
To make matters worse, cases of gender-based violence and child abuse have increased during the Covid-19 period.
Parenting styles
Parenting style refers to the combination of strategies that you use to raise your children. Each parenting style varies in at least four areas — discipline style, communication, nurturance and expectations.
Parenting practices around the world share three major goals — ensuring children’s health and safety, preparing children for life as productive adults and transmitting cultural values.
A high-quality parent-child relationship is critical for healthy development, especially during this period of crisis as it entails traumatic and stressful change in a person’s life.
It is important to be aware of the two sides of parenting as it can be positive or negative.
Positive parenting involves an awareness of emotions, connecting with your child, listening to your child, naming emotions and helping them find solutions. Adopting positive parenting is vital in times such as these as the world fights Covid-19.
Positive parenting has been found to support resilience, even in children whose lives were disadvantaged. When children experience positive and supportive parenting, they are more likely to thrive.
Authoritarian parents use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is common.
Permissive parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents and their discipline style is the opposite of strict.
Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do.
Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing, and set high, clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children.
Impact of Covid-19
Challenges in parenting during the current Covid-19 period include financial concerns, health and safety concerns, social isolation, pressure to provide home-based education while work expectations also pile up for parents.
Psychological impacts of Covid-19 are being felt and may be in form of parents yelling at children. This leads to emotional disturbances and low self-esteem. Children might also be physically abused.
Social impact is felt through death of loved ones, which might lead to more orphaned and vulnerable children. Parents may also be increasing use of discipline and restrictions in movement.
Economically, families are experiencing financial constraints, difficulty in accessing food and other resources. There are also restrictions on how to acquire goods and services. Most people have to work from home and this has a negative impact on production.
It is important to adopt positive parenting in times of crises so that the current situation does not get in the way of parenting.
Adapting to the situation
There are various ways for parents and their children to adapt to any crisis.
These include being aware of your child’s common reactions to crisis. Each child is unique in how he or she responds to frightening events, therefore it is important to respond in a calm and caring way.
There is need to prepare to be able to deal with fears and worries because common childhood fears may intensify after a crisis. Children need to be reassured with both words and hugs. Parents need to create a sense of safety by being protective and spending extra time with their children.
The family is a refuge to kids in times of uncertainty. Also parents need to take time to listen to their children, thereby identifying their needs. You also need to nurture healthy coping skills such as reminding children that while you may be feeling sad right now, you have ways to help yourself feel better soon.
Parents also need to monitor their behaviour over time by keeping an eye on changes in their sleeping, eating, playing and studying habits as well as how they socialise with others. If there are no improvements over time, reach out to a professional for help.
They also need to be emotionally available so that the children know that their parents understand, care and want the best for them.
This will make the parent-child relationship stronger and helps the children gain great confidence.
It is important for parents to remember that above all else, providing a loving and nurturing home environment will provide comfort for their children during this Covid-19 era.
