I cheated on my girlfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: I CHEATED on my girlfriend, having brilliant sex with her best friend. I’ve now been dumped and can’t stop thinking about my ex’s mate.

Me and my former partner are both 22 and met through work more than two years ago. We hit it off straight away — she was fun and crazy about me, too.

But then she got promoted and was sent on training courses 100 miles away for several weeks at a time, which made things between us strained. Often we wouldn’t speak for days.

I rarely went out socialising without her but one night I accepted an invite to a party for one of my mates. That is where I met her friend, who is 21.

We danced and chatted and I felt a spark between us. I realised I was enjoying myself for the first time in ages.

She left early but texted me later with a flirty message and we arranged to meet the next day. Coffee turned to a lunchtime drink and we went back to her place. I was excited to be around her and, when we kissed, it was fantastic.

The sex that followed lived up to the promise, but I felt bad afterwards because I was picking up my girlfriend that evening.

To cut a long story short, someone told her that her mate and I had been seen at the pub with our arms around one another. She got out of me what happened.

She was mad at me, and with her friend too, but we got over it and things seemed OK with us again. But I now realise we never really recovered because our relationship wasn’t working and hadn’t been for a long time.

She got fed up in the end and dumped me three weeks ago. I thought I could start looking for someone new straight away but my head is filled with her friend. Do I let her know, or is it too soon?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex has broken up with you so she has no rights over deciding whether it’s OK for you to have another relationship, even if it is with her friend. But she may never speak to either of you again, even so. Are you actually ready emotionally to move on? I know the sex was great but when a long-term relationship ends it takes time to adjust to being single. Much of your time and energies over the past year have been focused on trying to make it work with your ex. It’s often best to be on your own for a while before you are ready to commit again.

Your social life was put on hold when you were with your ex and now it’s time to catch up with old mates, start to meet new people and do new things.

Then you will see your ex’s friend in context and be better able to decide whether she is really right for you.

DEAR DEIDRE: WHAT should I do? I am so worried about a friend who is in a toxic relationship with a horribly controlling and manipulative guy. We were childhood mates and are now 23. She met her partner at work two years ago. He is 30.

She says she’s doing fine but if she does come out for an evening — which is rare — she starts to talk. She wants to leave her partner but he has two kids she loves like they were her own. Sometimes she tries to get away but he takes her phone off her and removes her from social media.

I am thinking about contacting her mum but I am not sure it’s the right thing.

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder you are worried, and her mum may already have a good idea about the relationship too, but neither of you can make her leave.

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD the most passionate sex of my life with a girl I met at Glastonbury but now I’m not sure she is really right for me. I am 21 and this girl is 18. I hadn’t had sex since I split up with my ex-girlfriend almost a year ago. Lots of girls have wanted to go out with me but no one has seemed that special.

I jumped at the chance to go to the Glastonbury Festival with a group of friends when one of them had to cancel.

I’d had a fantastic time and on the last day I was queuing up for food when I got chatting to this girl behind me. We just started talking about the music, which bands we’d seen there and what music we liked.

She was gorgeous and I was really into her. We ate our food and spent the rest of the day together. I felt we were becoming genuinely close. We held hands and kissed. When she suggested we spend the night together I agreed straight away and she came back to my tent.

The sex was awesome, even though we were pretty cramped. She seemed to know what she was doing and it was wonderful.

It was a bit shocking when she told me the next morning that I was the 20th person she’d had sex with at the festival.

It almost sounded as if she was going for a target. I was stunned that she could have had sex with so many men in just a few days. But I didn’t say anything and she didn’t seem to notice the look on my face.

We agreed to exchange numbers when we said goodbye and we have been keeping in touch regularly by text.

She is a really nice girl and I do like her.

But now that I am back at home I am starting to wonder whether I should be worried she seems to sleep around.

I can’t help but question whether I should bother with someone like that.

DEIDRE SAYS: I can understand why you are hesitating. Love and sex are very special and she gives them away too cheaply.

Most of these other guys were probably only interested in the sex — and she encourages them to think of her like that. On the other hand, you were keen to have sex with her the day you met, so don’t be too hypocritical.

Talk to her some more to find out why she had sex with so many guys at Glastonbury.

Did she use effective protection? If not you need to get a sexual health check. If you two are going to see more of one another, is she willing to commit to being faithful? Are you?

It may be that it was more about the special Glastonbury atmosphere than that you are right for one another. — thesun.co.uk.