Dear Tete Joyie
I got married to a man who already had a wife.
He lied to me that he was an unmarried single father who was paying child support for his kid.
He showed me his payslip and it indicated that he was paying maintenance.
I fell pregnant and he came with his friends for the marriage ceremony.
He did not come with his relatives, knowing that they would divulge that he already had a wife and was taking me as a second wife.
When I found out, I refused to be a second wife, and so he divorced his first wife who had three children.
The problem is he never asks for my salary, and I never ask for his.
He never tells me about his plans and I have lost hope in being told about them.
He does not pay school fees for my children, saying that he will only pay for them when they reach university as he did for his first wife.
I do not see any reason why I should keep trying when he does not bother about us.
The same things he buys for us is the same things he buys for his first wife.
I no longer enjoy intimacy with him, I detest it.
I have even fallen in terms of prayer. He is very rough and rude.
He acts like a sissy.
I only have two girl children.
Help me Tete.
Tete Joyie says:
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time.
It sounds like you are feeling neglected and unsupported in your marriage.
You mentioned that your husband does not pay school fees for your children, and that he buys the same things for you and his first wife.
It is understandable that you feel frustrated and unappreciated.
It is important to communicate your feelings with your husband and let him know how his actions are affecting you.
You could try to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns.
If you are not comfortable doing this alone, you could consider seeking the help of a professional counsellor or therapist who can help facilitate the conversation.
In addition, it is important to take care of yourself and your children.
You mentioned that you have lost hope in being told about your husband’s plans.
It might be helpful to focus on your own goals and aspirations, and work towards achieving them.
This could help you feel more fulfilled and confident in yourself.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or need someone to talk to, there are resources available to help.
You could consider reaching out to a support group or a helpline for advice and guidance.
Remember, that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and that you have the power to make positive changes in your life.
I have challenges with school work
Dear Tete Joyie
I think I am having problems with school work.
I read a lot, but when I write exams, I don’t do well.
May you please help me with advice that can solve my situation.
Tete Joyie says:-
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your exams.
It is great that you are reading a lot, but it is important to remember that exam writing requires a different set of skills than reading.
Here are some tips that might help you improve your exam writing skills:
1. Practice writing under timed conditions:
Set a timer for the amount of time you will have during the exam and practice writing an essay or answering questions within that timeframe.
This will help you get used to writing quickly and efficiently.
2. Read the instructions carefully:
Make sure you understand what is being asked of you before you start writing.
If you are not sure, ask your teacher or professor for clarification.
3. Plan your answers:
Take a few minutes to plan out your answers before you start writing.
This will help you organise your thoughts and ensure that you are addressing all parts of the question.
4. Use examples:
Whenever possible, use examples to support your answers.
This will help you demonstrate your understanding of the material and make your answers more convincing.
5. Proofread your work:
Take a few minutes at the end of the exam to proofread your work.
Check for spelling and grammar errors, and make sure that your answers are clear and concise.
Remember that improving your exam writing skills takes time and practice.
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results.
Keep working at it, and you will get there!
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