The ManicaPost
Dear Tete Joyie
NEXT month, I am getting married, but I have been in love with my fiancée’s sister ever since we met.
I am 32 and my fiancée is 30.
Her sister is 28 and is in a long-term relationship, but it blows my mind whenever I see her.
We always have such a laugh.
It makes me feel worse to see how close my fiancée and her sister are. I can’t say anything.
In my mind I have often chosen the sister over my fiancée as someone I want to be with long-term.
I am sure her sister doesn’t feel the same way about me.
I still love my fiancée, but I can’t stop obsessing about her sister.
Tete Joyie says
Maybe her sister has such a pull because she shares qualities that you love in your fiancée, but you can fantasise that she doesn’t have any of the aspects of your fiancée’s character you are not so keen on.
Or maybe you are nervous of committing totally to your fiancée, so it feels safer to tell yourself you love someone else too.
It’s unfair to get married with such divided feelings.
Dear Tete Joyie
HOW do I get over my heartbreak after my daughter ditched me to live with her dad and his new partner.
She is 15 and she has been gone for two weeks.
My ex-husband was abusive to me, was not interested in his child and I have never received a penny from him.
His new girlfriend pushed him into introducing her to our daughter.
She means well, but my girl thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread and she has moved in with them.
I am 39 and have not told her how abusive her father was to me.
Now she shouts at me, blaming me for her not seeing her dad.
She is disrespectful, though the truth is he was never bothered about her until now.
Tete Joyie says
Your daughter, her dad and his new partner are in a honeymoon period, but try to be patient.
Tell her shouting gets nowhere and try to arrange to see her regularly.
Don’t rush to tell her the truth about her dad as you risk sounding vindictive, but she is old enough to know the truth when things have calmed down.
Dear Tete Joyie
My husband’s mother has just left and the house stinks of booze from her breath.
We have two little girls.
Thank goodness both were at school when she came.
I hate them to see her like that when she is slurring her words.
The frightening thing is she drove to our house then back home and I am sure she is over the limit.
She is 66 and a widow.
I am 34 and my husband is 36.
He has promised he will tackle her about her drinking soon.
I know that is not easy to do, but she is surely a danger to others as well as herself.
If my husband won’t take on the job, then I will do it myself, but it won’t go down well.
Please advise the best way to approach this.
Tete Joyie says
I am on your side.
Your mother-in-law needs help.
What if she hurts, even kills, another road user?
You would never forgive yourself for just standing by.
Tell your husband that it is time that he spoke to his mum and that, unless he is sure that she won’t drink and drive, he should take care of the keys to her car.
If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, WhatsApp 0716069196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember, all those who write in remain anonymous
