The ManicaPost
Dear Tete Joyie:
A few years ago, I dated a married woman.
She was always complaining about her husband and I was her comfort.
The lady then fell pregnant and told me that she was carrying twins.
They have now mended their relationship with her husband and are taking care of my kids as his.
She went on to cut all communication with me.
I tracked her down and found her.
I told her that it was time for my kids to know me as their father.
She is refusing, saying I want to ruin her life.
Would it be bad if I go to her husband and tell him that they should do a DNA test and allow me access to my twin babies?
Will it be a bad move?
Tete Joyie says:
This is a complex and sensitive situation. It is important to consider the potential impact on all parties involved, including the children and the woman’s husband.
It might be beneficial to seek legal advice or consult with a professional counsellor to understand the potential outcomes and legal implications of your actions.
Remember, it is crucial to prioritise the well-being of the children in this situation.
Please note that this advice is general in nature, and the laws and regulations regarding paternity and child custody can vary greatly depending on your situation.
It is always best to consult with a professional who is familiar with the laws.
On your part, are you prepared to take in the woman as your wife for the sake of your children?
If not, let sleeping dogs lie.
I know it hurts, but that should not be an excuse to break the woman’s marriage.
After all, they say gomba harina mwana.
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Mother lies about my life
Dear Tete Joyie:
My mother keeps telling people that I failed my Ordinary Level exams, and I do odd jobs in another town, yet I am in university doing my second year.
She said she is doing this to ward off people who might want to send evil energy my way.
I feel that she is too superstitious and should just tell people the truth.
How best can I convince her to be open about my education status?
Tete Joyie says:
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation.
It is important to have open and honest communication with your mother about your feelings. Here are some steps you might consider:
1.Prepare for the conversation: Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it.
Be clear in your mind about why you want her to stop spreading misinformation about your education status.
2. Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can talk without being interrupted. Make sure it is a good time for both of you.
3. Express your feelings: Use “I” statements to express your feelings. For example, “I feel upset when you tell people I failed my exams because it is not true.”
4. Explain your perspective: Let her know that you understand her intentions are to protect you, but you would prefer if she could be honest about your situation.
5. Be clear about what you are asking for: You could say something like, “I would appreciate it if you could tell people the truth about my education status.”
6. Listen to her perspective: After you have expressed your feelings and thoughts, give her a chance to share her side of the story. Try to understand her concerns and fears.
Remember, it might take time for her to adjust to this change.
Be patient and give her time to process the conversation.
If the situation doesn’t improve, you might consider seeking advice from a counsellor or trusted advisor.
Good luck!
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If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, Whatsaap 0716 069 196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember all those who write to us remain anonymous.
