Torn between two boyfriends

03 May, 2024 - 00:05 0 Views
Torn between two boyfriends The woman is torn between two boyfriends

The ManicaPost


Hello Tete Joyie:

I am a lady aged 22, and I have been in a long distance relationship with a guy online for three years now.

He is 25, and we only met in the first year thrice, and ever since all our plans to meet up are to no avail.


The last time we met, we kissed and took pictures.


He is someone who is focused and promises the best future for us as he is always talking about it.

We text a lot on WhatsApp and Instagram.


We rarely make calls, but when we do, I am the one who would have called.

We talk for a bit and he cuts it short, saying he sacrificed time to talk to me and he has to go back to work.


He is flirty and romantic, and I like him a lot.


He has never shown me any of his family members or friends.

He has only told his friends about me.


He stays far from my city and whenever we plan to meet, he does not leave out that we have to meet up somewhere appropriate for us to be intimate.


He says it is not even Biblically wrong since he is going to marry me.


It turns me off, but he then later eases it by talking about church stuff, the progress he is making in his programming stuff and our future marriage.

This lightens me and makes me want to like him more.


Now this year I met another guy.


He is 24 and I feel a spark and instant connection with him so much.


We meet a lot since he stays around and I like spending time with him.

We go out for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even walks in the neighbourhood.


He makes me happy and his personality ticks all the boxes well. He introduced me to his siblings and mom, and they love me.

I am very close to his sister, and I have introduced him to my siblings and my cousins. He shows that he is very serious with me.

He respects me and is not even rushing the courtship.


He wants to give me more time to think.


He says he wants something very serious and not to play around with feelings.

I respect him.


He is very short tempered and hates people who lie to him.

But he asked me three times and I told him that I am single and have never kissed anyone before.


Now that we are getting serious, I fear how damaged he might be when he finds out that I lied to him.


He says if I tell him the truth, it will not stop him from liking me, but I don’t have the confidence to do so.

I also feel guilty cheating on my online boyfriend and scared to tell him that I want to end things because he might leak the pictures of the time we kissed when we met up.

I am confused what if the physical guy is not the one and I would have lost the real love of my life (the online one).


I need help please!

Tete Joyie says:

It sounds like you are navigating a complex emotional landscape, torn between two different connections. Let us break down your situation:

1. The long-distance relationship (Online boyfriend): You have been in a long-distance relationship with a guy for three years.

Despite limited physical meetings, he promises a bright future and talks about it frequently.

He is flirty, romantic and even got you a promise ring.

However, he has not introduced you to his family or close friends, and the focus seems to be on intimacy when you do meet.


His comments about being intimate before marriage may be a turn-off, but his other qualities keep you intrigued.

2.The new connection (Local guy): You have met a local guy this year, and there is an instant spark.


You spend quality time together, going out for meals and walks.


He introduced you to his family, and they adore you.

You have reciprocated by introducing him to your own family and cousins.


His seriousness about the relationship is evident.


Emotional connection: The online boyfriend provides emotional connection and future promises, but the lack of physical presence can be challenging.

Physical connection: The local guy offers companionship, shared experiences, and a strong physical presence.

Family approval: Both families seem supportive, but the online boyfriend’s lack of family introductions raises questions.

Intimacy vs emotional depth: Reflect on whether intimacy is enough or if you desire deeper emotional bonds.


Remember that relationships are multifaceted, and each person brings unique qualities.


Take time to evaluate what truly matters to you and what aligns with your long-term goals.


Trust your instincts and communicate openly with both individuals.


If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, WhatsApp 0716 069 196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember all those who write to us remain anonymous.

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