The ManicaPost
MARRIAGE DR
How can I ignore Valentine’s Day as a Marriage Doctor? And if you are a couple or in a relationship, you too will not be able to ignore Valentine’s Day, it is everywhere. So what is my suggestion? Well, if you can’t beat them, join them. I know there are so many men out there who say: “I do not need Valentine’s Day to show my wife that I love her.”
Okay, I hear you, but are you showing her love every day or often? If you are, then your woman will agree with you on your statement. But if you are not, then you and I both know you are just blowing smoke.
For me personally I have the same feeling for those people who make excuses for not celebrating Christmas, Easter, birthdays etc. It is not about you, it is about the one being celebrated. What differs may be the way you celebrate and possibly the day you celebrate, but the celebration is acknowledged. You can disagree with me, that is fine, but I am immovable on my thinking on the issue. I believe everyone should be shown love and everyone should give love at every opportunity. Life is far too short for us to find reasons why we do not want to show or exchange love. And I am not talking about sex here!
Valentine’s Day commercially is expensive yes of course! Industry tries to make a killing by selling flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, lingerie, specials dinners, jewellery, clothes etc. But Valentine’s season does not have to cost much if anything. It is also not about the young in love or the young people only. Since when is love only for young people? If you are an older person and you think love is only for younger people, I encourage you to re-adjust what you believe love means. Showing love is not about tradition, culture, character, race, age, shape or religion.
Having said this though, I know that physical expressions of love may differ from person to person depending on the above.
Now for the sake of this article, we will presume that we will celebrate each other’s love over Valentine’s week or weekend or season.
Now ladies, I just have to throw caution out to you. Some of you ladies get carried away. You put your men off from wanting to show you some appreciation girl because you start hinting, then complaining days if not weeks before the day. Then you start criticising the dude before he even decides what to get you.
Stop being so ?&%#^@ and allow your man to show you love his way. Stop being ungrateful yo! Stop comparing your man and his gift to your friend’s man and his gifts. Let me tell your girl, you have no idea what your friend is doing behind closed doors to and for her man to be getting what she is getting, so shoosh now!
Of course there is nothing wrong with you hinting what you would like, but be realistic, he might not be able to afford it, even if you think he can. Also I know that many women believe that weddings and Valentine’s Day is about them. This is not entirely true. Relationships are two-way and we as women should also make an effort to make our men feel appreciated.
So if he is the one buying the gift, you should show appreciation. If he can’t buy a gift, but he shows you love in another way like making dinner or something, show appreciation.
This is not the time for you to make demands on your man about what you want or do not want. It is about showing each other love.
He shows you appreciation and love around Valentine’s, by giving you a product or service, and you show him appreciation or love in return by vocalising it. How hard is it? This is not the time ladies for your diva tantrums for your man.
Save the performance when he forgets your birthday, now show appreciation. And if he forgets to do something for you for Valentine’s, do not go to the dark end of your thoughts. Just go and buy him something.
That is the best way to remind someone about what they forgot, not about shouting, but by showing them what you want them to do. It is not hard ladies I promise you. It is simple, do not be selfish this year.
Be a team with your man, this is why you are with him, to compliment him, not fight him.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY MUTARE!
The Marriage Doctor can be messaged / WhatsApped on 0733 285 730.
