The ManicaPost
Dear Tete Joyie:
How do I end my relationship without breaking my girlfriend’s heart?
I am 27 and this is my first serious relationship.
My girlfriend is 23 and is divorced.
We have been together for just over a year.
I am very unhappy right now.
I like her a lot, but l am not in love with her.
We are booked to go away together over the Easter holiday and I am dreading it because I know this is not the right relationship for me.
I don’t like to cause anyone pain and I don’t know how to handle this.
It is on my mind all the time and it is driving me mad.
Tete Joyie says:
So the sooner you end it, the better.
Don’t dodge the issue any longer and don’t go away as you had planned.
It will be a nightmare for you and a waste of her time.
Tell her now and you could change the booking.
One of you could still have a good time.
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Hurt by hubby’s cheating
Dear Tete Joyie:
A WhatsApp message came in my inbox with a photograph of my husband kissing another woman.
I felt like I was in a TV thriller.
The woman who sent me the message was a work colleague and she told me that my husband had been having an affair with the woman on the photograph for four years.
She said she was hurt by this and felt that I should know about it.
I confronted my husband.
He didn’t deny it, but was vague about the truth.
My father was dying at the time so I didn’t kick my husband out as I needed him.
Now my father has passed away and I am still with my husband.
But I feel scared for my future. We have had good times together and he is trying hard to have everything back to normal, but I am worried that he may stray again.
I am 41 and he is 45.
Tete Joyie says:
It sounds as if he has realised what he stands to lose.
But explain that you are struggling and it will take a while for you to get over this.
Talk about what went wrong at the time that made him vulnerable to straying.
Work together on those areas of your relationship.
He is more likely to feel fresh commitment if you share responsibility.
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Boyfriend has turned into a monster
Dear Tete Joyie:
My boyfriend gave me a black eye when we were arguing the other day.
He often assaults me when he gets really angry.
I am 27 and he is 29.
We have been together for three years.
We have a good relationship most of the time, but we have had a few problems recently.
They are not major, but he assaults me when he gets angry.
It is happening frequently these days and it makes me feel like rubbish when he does this.
I have thought of leaving him, but I love him so much.
Tete Joyie says:
There is never any excuse for violence.
Get away from him very fast.
This man won’t have a character transformation and you can’t change him.
He may well cause you a life-changing injury.
Living in fear is dragging you down so please leave.
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Mommy too committed to dad
Dear Tete Joyie:
My father is a bad-tempered drunkard who does not work or contribute to family life.
My poor mother has a miserable life and her health, both mental and physical, is deteriorating.
When I tell her to leave, she simply says: “But he is my husband.”
She is only 58.
How do I make her see that she is throwing her life away?
Tete Joyie says:
It must be very hard watching your mother suffer in her unhappy home but if she refuses to leave, you have to accept that she clearly takes her marriage vows very seriously and has decided to stay with your father until the bitter end.
You may not approve of her choice, but make it clear to her that she will always have your love and support, and that you will always help her if she does decide to make a new life for herself in the future.
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If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, Whatsaap 0716 069 196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember all those who write to us remain anonymous.
