The ManicaPost
MONDAY
Ahh this stuff is confusing. I do not think men are supposed to organise this counselling stuff. I think it is women who are supposed to do this. I spent the whole morning trying to figure out who to call or even to trust with our marital situation. Anyway, my secretary told me that it might be better for us to go to people who do not know my wife or me. She said because we come from different cultures etc., it might be best to have counselling with someone who can see beyond both sides of the partnership. Mmm, wise woman. I asked her to find some good person or person and with that I left to do what I am good at doing – making money!
TUESDAY
I went to see my wife this evening to let her know that we start official marriage counselling tomorrow. I know it does not give her much time to think about stuff, but I do not want to let time go by which will cause us to drift further apart than we actually are right now. What I have learnt about time is that it can play a nasty game on one’s mind. One starts to make things worse than they actually are. So any way Diary, I went over there to see her. No one was home yet except her. I was relieved. It is a bit hard when you go to the family home when all the family members are there. I feel like a school boy again, trying to win the girl of my heart, but all the parents see is a boy wanting to sleep with their precious daughter eish!
Well, we had a wonderful time for about an hour. She was uncomfortable, but I loved every bit of being with her. I really took my time to listen to what she had to say about life, her thoughts, her dreams and all. I stared at her like a boy helplessly in love. Oh Diary, she is so beautiful this woman of mine. I tell sometimes when you are with someone for years everyday; you tend to see beyond their beauty to nothingness. I am serious. My wife had become just another person in my life. I could no longer see all those things that used to turn me on. Even the smell of her perfume used to turn me on. I only remembered that today because when I walked into the room, something within me leaped when I smelt the familiar smell…mmm yes!
WEDNESDAY
I slept well last night Diary. After I left my wife, I drove around the city, just clearing my mind and enjoying the bright night. The moon was out and for once all the lights in the city were on thank you Zesa for keeping the power on for me tonight.
I wanted the memory of last night to stick in my mind for a long time. I know what is coming in the next few months with all the counselling stuff. It is just going to be emotional and tearing each other down. But if I can hold on to something through it all, then the end will be worth it.
Anyway, tonight is our first night of counselling. I am nervous and anxious, but I am also glad it is finally here. This is it, make it or break it.
THURSDAY
Counselling? Hezvo! Is all I can say. Ah ahah wow! That was painful. I am not ready to discuss that today Diary, let the whole session sink in properly before I tell you what happened.
FRIDAY
Yah like I said, counselling what something else I tell you. Already when I went to pick my wife up there was tension because she insisted on driving there in her own car. Now of course realise she was wise, but at the time I was not happy. Anyway, by the time we got there I was also tense with what had happened with the car thing, so by the time we began I was a little closed off you know what we men are like Diary.
Anyway, the counsellor asked us each why we are there. I of course said it is because I wanted our marriage to work out etc. My wife said she was there because I made her come – imagine? So the counsellor now asked her if she did not want to be there and my wife just said not really. Hahaha! So I sat back in my chair shocked and I asked her why she came then? She boldly said that I had convinced her parents that I wanted to make things work and since I seemed to be so passionate about it she decided to honour that.
SATURDAY
I tell you Diary, every time I think about our first counselling session I just get angry. Like I said yesterday my wife had such negative energy at the session. Then the counsellors (two of them by the way, husband and wife), asked my wife why she did not seem to have hope in resurrecting the marriage. Bad question! That just started my wife on a role. She started from day one, rolling out the tape of all the bad things she claimed I did throughout the marriage from day one. Diary, I had no idea the woman was keeping such stuff in her heart. I had no idea those were even issues between us. I was so shocked I ended up questioning, how she could have stayed married to me after all these years with her holding that stuff inside. She then arrogantly answered, I was waiting for you to push me across the divorce line. Oh! I lost it with her Diary and it took a lot for the counsellor to keep us quiet. I have never got so angry with my wife before and she has never spoken to me like that before either. She really wants out of this marriage I tell you. I don’t even know why the counsellors re-booked us for another appointment, but now that I have calmed down.
SUNDAY
I did not go to church. Enough of people wanting to interfere in our marriage. We now have a professional helping us.
