Teaching responsibility to children: A must for parenting

13 Dec, 2019 - 00:12 0 Views
Teaching responsibility to children: A must for parenting Responsibility is taught and this should begin when children are as young as two years old

The ManicaPost

One parent asked me during a psychotherapy session: “What can I do to raise a child who is responsible? What are the secrets?” I thought this was a very important question and this article is about the discussion we had. I thought many more parents out there are asking the same questions. A sense of responsibility is one of the best values for children to possess. This is something that can make children be bold enough to refuse being lured into risky behaviours.

However, it’s not an attribute that a child can just have overnight or have it on their own. Responsibility is taught and this should begin when children are as young as two years old. Sadly, most parents want to start teaching responsibility when children are in high school or even university, not always the best time to begin.

This article also comes as result of what has been going on in the social media when we have seen a lot of disturbing images of students from various high schools circulating. I asked myself can we let this continue or as parents and adults we need to start conversations around this. Through this forum we can assist our children and reduce such activities.  Through this forum parents can ask questions and get help.

One the most important duties of a parent is to raise a child who is responsible. What does this mean? We do not leave this duty for other people to do, but it is our first job as parents. Other people like teachers, pastors, etc, should assist us.

You want to do your best to raise children who will not engage in risky behaviours, who will not yield to negative peer pressure and who are accountable for all their behaviours. In the following weeks, I have decided to dwell on this area of raising responsible children and how children can themselves enhance their sense of responsibility.

As parents we expect our children to grow well. However, we will be doing our children a disservice if we don’t instil a sense of responsibility.

A sense of responsibility is important in our children since most of the time children are not with us. They spent most time at school, or with their peers and as such should be responsible citizens all the time.  The following are some things we can do as parents to ensure that children are responsible:

  1. Teach children to do the things they are expected to do, ask if they are not sure and accept the consequences (results) of their actions.
  2. Teach by example: Your children are watching your behaviour and pick up on your patterns. Your life is the best teacher for responsibility. You do not expect your child to be responsible if you do not model it throughout.
  3. Build their self-esteem: This is important because it heavily influences people’s choices and decisions. In other words, self-esteem serves a motivational function and make children want to do what they are expected to do.
  4. Spent some time with your children and let them ask you questions
  5. Setting limits, saying no, will make a child realise what they should or not do.
  6. As parents establish and enforce rules in a consistent manner.
  7. Have age-appropriate responsibilities. Set and follow through with consequences this will help children develop a sense of responsibility.
  8. Help your child to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, words and actions and only rescue them where it is necessary.

They should not just follow mob or yield to peer pressure

  1. Teach your children to learn to share and communicate any concern that they must trusted individuals starting with you the parents or guardians

Remember developing a sense of responsibility in children is the best way to start to develop a sense of belonging, a sense of worthiness and a way to help them gain a positive self-concept

This will help children to become more self-regulating adults and be a better position to make good decisions and choices. Children who are taught about responsibility will gain skills relevant for their day to day function.

 

Dr Mazvita Machinga (PhD, MSc, MA)  is a qualified psychotherapist in Mutare who offers psychotherapy and professional counseling Contact 0771 754 519 / 0778 83 84 10 or email [email protected]

 

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