My father was a very good man who loved us and gave me and my family everything we ever needed.
It was not much but it was more than most of my friends got from their parents. One day my father woke up to go to work as usual.
I clearly remember that day as if it were yesterday. He wore his black suit and a white shirt with a blue tie and he got into his car, a blue Mercedes-Benz.
He smiled at me as he drove out and promised to bring me something sweet when he returned. I waited for him that day till I got tired and fell asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, my mother was crying and her friends had filled the house. I was just 13-years-old when my father died, but I cannot stop waiting for him to come home. Now I am 26 and I feel that I need to stop waiting. I am hurt inside.
Tete Barbara Responds
I am sorry for your loss and even as it may seem that it has been a long time, the grieving process is one that differs with individuals for different reasons. From your letter, it would appear that you did not receive the answers you needed in such a situation.
A common mistake made by adults is to underestimate the reasoning and understanding of children.
Children are sometimes left out in the grieving process because they are thought to be out of touch with their emotions, but this is not true.
Perhaps you are still waiting for your father because you were not seated down properly and made to understand that he had passed on and would not come back in this life.
Another reason could be that you are holding on to his promise as a source of comfort and a reason to keep looking forward to something.
The truth however, is that sooner or later you have to let go of that promise and hold on to the memories you made together with a father you clearly loved and appreciated dearly.
Talk to your family about the things you cherish about your loved one. Do not bury your feelings. Share them and find relief. If it continues, find a professional counsellor to help you move on.
Be comforted.