She is not right for my son

24 Mar, 2023 - 00:03 0 Views
She is not right for my son The man's partner is aloof, arrogant, controlling and malicious

The ManicaPost

 

Dear Tete Joyie:

I am a mother in despair of what may happen to my son.

His partner is aloof, arrogant, controlling and malicious.

 

He tells me he’s “scared and lost”, and she’s already threatened to keep his son from him.

I am shocked that my caring son has settled for someone of this nature.

 

I have tried to smooth things over, but all I get is hostility from her and her horrid family.

***

Tete Joyie says:

 

There’s very little you can or, indeed, should do.

You have clearly come to hate his wife (and her family), and while that may or may not be justified, it’s not your life, it’s his.

Your job can only be to warn him while not alienating him.

 

Stop striving to play Happy Families with her and her relatives, it’s never going to work.

Distance yourself from his marriage, but not from him.

 

See him for lunches, keep in touch with messages and see him when she’s visiting her own mum.

In effect, stop competing with her.

 

That way you will retain something of a relationship with your son.

Remind him he has a right to be happy in his marriage, and not to become a doormat for fear of losing his child.

If he is truly “bloody scared and lost”, make him get some counselling on his own or with his wife.

This could either save his marriage, or at least give him the courage to make a brave choice for himself.

 

He will hear from an unbiased voice that he will never lose his child, his rights as a father will always be bound in family law.

It may not be what you would have wished for him, but thousands of people face times when you have to make the most of a rotten deal.

Re-affirm your love, offer support, the odd word of wisdom (I’d implore him not to have another child with her), perhaps a tinge of nagging (if only about counselling).

But beware do any more, and you will end up being cast as the worst sort of witch, the manipulative mother and mother-in-law from hell.

You cannot meddle in his marriage, you can only protect your relationship with him.

That should be your focus.

Ex-boyfriend hurt that l moved on fast

***

Dear Tete Joyie

My boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me a couple of weeks ago.

At first I tried to win him back and asked for another chance, but he made it clear he didn’t want me back and didn’t even want to talk about it.

So, over the course of the week, I began to accept it was over and that I needed to move on because he was treating me like I meant nothing to him.

The weekend after we broke up, I had a one-night stand and I decided the right thing to do was to tell my ex rather than him hearing it from someone else.

He promised he wouldn’t kick off, but he plastered it all over social media and publicly humiliated me.

 

He is saying to people that I cheated on him and he was going to take me back the next day, but not once did he ever say that to me.

Am I in the wrong or is he just bitter than I have moved on and am not begging him for another chance anymore?

***

Tete Joyie says:

You haven’t ‘cheated’ on him.

 

He dumped you.

 

His ego simply can’t handle the fact you’ve moved on quickly and had some fun with another guy.

He was hoping you’d still be under the duvet crying.

 

You’ve done nothing wrong, so tell him to get lost.

Anyone who knows you and who you truly care about will see his social media posts for what they really are – lies and an attempt to get revenge by embarrassing you.

And anyone who doesn’t see that doesn’t need to be in your life.

 

It’s in situations like these where you find out who your true friends are.

And how dare he say he was about to take you back?

 

Big whoop!

 

What you need to post is: “You may have been going to ask me to come back, but I was never going to do it” and then delete him.

 

Share This:

Sponsored Links

We value your opinion! Take a moment to complete our survey

This will close in 20 seconds