The ManicaPost
DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend told me he loved me — then vanished.
He’s had serious relationships before but his partners cheated on him — one was his wife. He is 37 and I’m 23. I have fallen in love with him but he was very insecure about my friendship with a boy I knew from school.
My boyfriend moved in to my flat with me and I was so happy. Two months later, something changed.
He made love to me before leaving for work one morning as usual but didn’t come home that evening.
He phoned at midnight and said he loved me but hasn’t contacted me since.
DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe the fact he loves you is making him wary of getting hurt again. But you can’t be in a relationship with someone who behaves like this. Call or message him to say either he comes round to at least talk this over sensibly or you will move on. And mean it.
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having hot sex with my girlfriend’s best friend but now she wants me to ditch my girl and I cannot choose between them.
I am 20, my girlfriend is 19 and we have been together for two years. She is a great looking brunette with a fantastic figure.
We have always been best mates as well as lovers, though just lately she does not seem as much fun as she once was.
I knew her friend slightly but then she started dating my best mate so we all started hanging out as a foursome quite often. She is 20 too.
One night the four of us were at a party.
Me and my girl’s mate are smokers so we went outside into the garden for a cigarette.
We’d had a few drinks and we ended up having a real laugh.
Before we went back inside I sneaked a kiss and she kissed me back. It took my breath away.
That night I texted her saying sorry but she replied I had nothing to apologise for and that she thinks I am hot.
We started sending flirty texts and then arranged to meet one night at my place.
When we did, we could not wait to get stripped off and had the most amazing sex.
It has carried on for the past six months. It’s not easy to keep us secret from our partners.
I always thought me and my girlfriend would be together for ever. She has even started talking about getting engaged on her birthday in the summer.
Now her friend wants me to end it with my girlfriend and make us official. I admit she is better for me in many ways than my girlfriend. She is ambitious which I like, and she is so sexy and so much fun.
It will break my girl’s heart and probably lose me my best mate so I do not know what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS: You cannot have them both so it’s crunch time.
It does sound as though your mate’s girl is better suited to you and she clearly wants your relationship out in the open — long overdue, I’d say.
Your girlfriend is in love with you and sees a future together so of course she is bound to be heartbroken if you end your relationship.
But she will get over you in time and find someone who wants only her. Your mate will move on too and find another girl.
So get on with being honest but tread carefully.
