The ManicaPost
Dr Mazvita Machinga
Mental Health
OF late I have come to learn that many couples are going through stressful relations due to lack of intimacy in their relationships.
Sexless marital life is affecting mental health in married people.
This happens when a married couple goes for weeks or even months without being intimate.
This causes a lot of tension and allows extra marital relations to creep in.
This is not good at all.
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges are being noticed in marriages that lack intimacy.
Remember sex is the glue that maintains the love bond between married people.
The lack of intimacy in a marriage can therefore be painful and frustrating.
A marriage without intimacy is a sure sign of relationship breakdown and other issues.
Even as you grow old together, sex and intimacy remain a vital component of a healthy relationship.
During a marriage therapy, one couple that have been married for 5 years said they now feel like friends.
“Our relationship doesn’t feel sexual at it used to and we are now worried. We do not know what really is going on,” said the husband.
The wife went on to say she was feeling very unhappy.
The husband echoed the same sentiments and added that he was very anxious about the whole situation, adding that this was affecting his sleep and happiness.
Many couples are grappling with this situation.
Sometimes a couple stops having sex due to medical, biological, social, emotional, psychological and or spiritual reasons.
However whatever the reason, it is important for couples to talk about this with an open empathetic and compassionate attitude and seek professional help.
Even in situations where a couple cannot do something about it, there is need to learn to accept reality over time and still continue to love your partner and everything else about them.
As indicated above, each marriage goes through highs and lows, but communication is crucial and it should be done in a loving way without blaming each other.
If you find yourself in a marriage lacking physical intimacy, it is important to do the following:
Communicate your feelings and needs with your partner.
Avoid jumping to conclusions and have a frank discussion with your partner without being accusatory.
Talk openly about the relationship and try to resolve any issues that may be putting a strain on intimacy.
Unresolved issues in your relationship can be pulling you away and making you withdraw affectionately and emotionally.
So have time to discuss any issues.
Appreciate your partner — Is your partner feeling unappreciated or let down by the way you treat them, if so start to appreciate your partner and check their love language.
Cultivate the habit of complimenting and appreciating your partner.
Compliment your spouse and let them know that you find them attractive.
Connect with your partner physically and emotionally.
Intimacy isn’t just about a lack of sex.
Feeling disconnected from your partner can make it hard to connect during sex or enjoy it.
This isn’t only limited to women either; men crave emotional intimacy from their spouses too.
A simple touch is key to remaining intimate.
Spending quality time together can help build emotional intimacy and ultimately bring back physical intimacy.
Pray together and be together in other spiritual or faith activities.
Make use of your positive spiritual resources to manage this problem.
This makes you see your wife or husband as a precious gift from God.
Remember marriage is an institution created and sanctioned by God our creator.
Visit your family doctor and rule out any medical issues that may be affecting your sex life.
Seek marriage therapy from a professional mental health practitioner.
Don’t let breakdown in intimacy create a lack of emotional connection, marital conflicts, relationship dissatisfaction or bitterness in your marriage.
Instead know that there is always help.
You can do better.
Make being intimate with your spouse one of your resolutions for this year.
Dr Mazvita Machinga Ph.D is a qualified Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist based in Mutare. For more information and help feel free to call 0771 754 519 , 0778 83 8410 or Toll Free Help Line 08080482
