The ManicaPost
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been having wild sex with my best friend’s mum. Now she’s pregnant, I’m in a mega panic. I’m 17, like my mate. We hang out together in school and play football for the same team at the weekends. His mum is 38 and divorced.
My mate sings with a band and is aiming to get on a TV talent show like X Factor. I’ve no musical talent, but enjoy cooking and fancy getting on Bake Off.
One evening I was joking with my mate about it when his mum said she’d give me some cookery lessons because she used to work in a hotel kitchen.
I started going round there on Wednesday nights when my mate rehearses with his band and his mum would teach me how to bake something new.
One day a sponge layer cake I’d made worked out amazingly and she flung her arms around me in excitement. Before I thought about it, I looked down at her and kissed her.
I couldn’t believe I’d been so bold. I’ve never even been with a girl before but my mate’s mum is very pretty and sexy.
She pushed me away, looked into my eyes, and then pulled me towards her to kiss again. She said, “Why don’t I give you some different tutoring tonight?”
She led me to her bedroom and started undressing me, then told me to help her. I pulled her dress off and she looked incredible. We kissed and caressed, got into bed and she took my virginity.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. We had sex on five different occasions after that. It wasn’t planned, it just happened.
She’s now told me she’s pregnant. I’m horrified. I don’t want to be a dad at my age, but she seems set on having it. My parents will kill me and I will have to tell my mate I fathered his little brother or sister. It’s such a mess.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your mate’s mum is an adult and should have been grown-up enough to have known better. But continuing with the pregnancy or not is her choice.
Tell her you are not mature enough to be a good dad and will struggle to help support a child financially (your legal duty) until you can find a full-time job. That may take years if you continue your education.
Ask that you visit her doctor together for advice.
My e-leaflet Unplanned Pregnancy can help you both talk this over and allow her to think carefully about her options.
If she decides to go ahead with the pregnancy, then she should tell her son and be beside you to tell your parents. In future, remember to be responsible for contraception.
High sex drive
I’m worried if I get pregnant my husband will turn to one-night stands to fulfil his sexual needs
DEAR DEIDRE: IF I got pregnant I fear my husband would have one-night stands to fulfil his high sex drive.
We have been married for three years and have a very active sex life. We do it once or twice weekdays and at least six times at weekends.
We are both 27 and would like to start a family soon. But I’m nervous I would go off sex while I’m pregnant and then my husband would sleep around.
He really struggles if he has to go a day without sex.
In fact, women often find their sexual arousal is heightened once the pregnancy is established.
Ensure your husband is truly signed up to starting a family. Then be firm there is no excuse for cheating.
Family strain
My teenage stepdaughter hates me for marrying her dad and my mother-in-law takes her side
DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE my husband already being divorced when we met, my stepdaughter often won’t speak to her father or me.
She hates him being married to me.
My husband’s mother is very much on her side and has now asked if she can take my stepdaughter away with her on holiday without us. I am not happy with this.
I am 33, my husband is 39 and his daughter is 16.
I have always been pleasant and kind to her, but my husband and I now have a little boy and my stepdaughter and her grandmother don’t want anything to do with him.
My mother-in-law makes it clear she resents my husband divorcing his first wife.
I feel her behaviour is making the situation worse.
DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t blame his daughter for hating the fact her parents split up.
Her grandmother probably feels protective.
Keep up being kind and pleasant. Don’t block the holiday plans.
Organise a day out for you and your boy with your stepdaughter and her grandma (but without your husband) to show you are trying to build family bonds.<http://www.thesun.co.uk>
