Dear Tete Joyie:
I miss my husband dearly.
My story goes like this, every time we got into a fight I would pack my bags and go to my parents’ house, and my husband would follow me and apologise.
We would reconcile and get back together.
Now my problem is that we got into a fight in January, and up until now he has not followed me.
He has since moved out from our lodgings.
I do not know his new address.
He has been sending $100 into my account for our child’s upkeep.
He has blocked all forms of communication; he does not go to his workplace every day.
He mostly works from home.
I even looked for him at his workplace and I did not meet him.
I want my marriage back, but I not even sure if he still wants me.
Hurt and confused.
Tete Joyie Says:
Your feelings of hurt and confusion are completely valid; you are navigating a situation that is both emotionally challenging and deeply personal.
I can tell that your love for your husband runs deep and that you are yearning to repair your relationship.
It seems like there may be unresolved emotions and patterns of communication in your marriage that have contributed to this situation.
Sometimes, repeated cycles—like leaving during fights and expecting apologies—can create emotional distance between partners.
Your husband’s actions of blocking communication and moving out could suggest that he’s experiencing his own pain or frustration.
Reconnecting and rebuilding a marriage takes mutual effort.
Since communication has been cut off, it may be helpful to focus first on expressing your feelings in a way that resonates with him.
If there is any possibility to write him a heartfelt letter, explaining how you feel and your desire for reconciliation, that might be one way to reach him.
It is also important to acknowledge and take accountability for patterns that could have hurt your bond, while expressing your willingness to make changes.
If you are unable to communicate directly, prioritising your own emotional health is vital.
This situation will take time to navigate, and seeking support — whether from trusted family members, friends, or even a counsellor — can help you process what you’re feeling and clarify your next steps.
This is a deeply complex and emotional time for you, and your child too.
Whatever happens, remember to be kind to yourself.
You are doing your best in a difficult situation, and your feelings matter.
***************
Pain of dealing with hateful mother-in-law
Dear Tete Joyie:
My mother-in-law does not love me at all, I have tried by all means to show her acts of love, but she gives me a cold shoulder.
We are four daughters-in-law, and I am the only one she shows hostility.
My love for her is fading and I have started to reduce the frequency of my visits to her place.
She complained to my husband that I no longer visit her.
I do not want to be at a place where I am not loved and I would rather stay at my own house than go to her place.
Do you think it is worth it to keep visiting her?
Tete Joyie Says:
I am really sorry you are facing this painful dynamic—it sounds deeply challenging, especially when you have tried your best to foster love and connection with your mother-in-law.
The fact that you are feeling hurt and your love for her is fading is entirely valid, given her hostility toward you.
Deciding whether to continue visiting her depends on what feels most aligned with your well-being and your values.
Here are a few things to consider:
1.Your emotional health: If being at her place consistently leaves you feeling unloved and uncomfortable, prioritising your emotional health might mean reducing visits or setting boundaries.
It is okay to protect yourself from situations that feel toxic or draining.
2.Your relationship with your husband: Since your mother-in-law has expressed her concerns to your husband, discussing this openly with him could be helpful.
Share your feelings calmly, and explore together how to approach this. Having his support in navigating this relationship might ease the tension.
3.Maintaining civility: If visiting less often feels right for you, ensuring respectful communication (like sending greetings or making brief calls occasionally) might help keep things cordial, even if it’s not perfect.
Ultimately, your self-respect and emotional health are important, and you have every right to prioritise those.
If she chooses to keep her distance despite your efforts, that is her choice not a reflection of your worth.
If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, WhatsApp 0716069196, and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember, all those who write in remain anonymous.
