The ManicaPost
Hello there everyone, how is the winter season treating you. Remember prevention is better than cure! So stay warm, eat healthy and drink lots of water. This week’s question was “Can we fall in love more than once for real, and can someone fall in love with two people at the same time?” Nice questions people.
Let’s discuss the first part of this question. I truly believe that we fall in love with three types of people in our life time, each person has a certain purpose. You see I believe especially in this millennium, the word “love” means nothing until something gives it a meaning, good or bad. The reason for loving these 3 groups or types is very different. We need them because each affects us differently.
Our first one, is the one we call “First Love.” This love is with the person we fall in love with the first time. Usually this is when we are in school, but could happen later on in life. This is the love we as kids dream about, it looks right to us even if it doesn’t feel right. Sometimes it’s not realistic and it’s based on society or to please our family. We believe it will last forever to the point of ignoring our personal truths and we will do everything we can to try and make it last forever. Our heart believes that this is what love is. This love makes us care initially about what people say about us than ourselves. It’s more imagining and feelings, rather than truth. This love is consuming, selfish, passionate, sometimes rebellious, which is what binds the two people together. It has a form of naivety which is what makes it dangerous if not managed. We call this “young love.”
The second love is what I call “hard love” or “co-dependant love”. This is the love that teaches us tough lessons about ourselves, love, life and human nature the hard way. Going through this love, one hopefully ends up understanding who they are and what they really want from a partner in life. Sadly this is the love where people are manipulated and lied to by their lovers. There are so many illusions that need to be broken.
When we think we have figured it out and are making better choices, we are hit with another disappointment. People who do not learn these hard love lessons, jump from one partner to the other searching for something that they can really only find within themselves. Sadly, each partner ends up being exactly the same as the last if not worse. These relationships are usually unhealthy because they are based on need and not true love.
There usually is a narcissistic partner too. Sadly the power of this unbalanced relationship is based on one or both partners being in need of something that realistically cannot be filled permanently by another human being. Sometimes we hold on to a partner because they seem to meet certain needs of ours that were not met in our childhood. Even if there is mental, physical and sexual abuse, people stick to these relationships mostly blaming themselves for the issues. Sometimes people believe that their partner will change or get better. This is the love everyone can see is wrong, but you stay there as long as you can.
The third love is what I call “true love.” This Love is what most people believe is out of their reach, so they end up settling for love number two. When it comes our way, it happens so easily, one can’t even explain the connection. It destroys all our ideas of what love should be. The connection cant even be explained. Everything just seems to fall into place.
Both partners feel no pressure to be anything other than who they really are. They just fit into each other perfectly without trying. They accept each other as they are, willing to allow their partner to grow in the relationship at their own pace. This is a mature love (not necessarily age). Each partner knows their role in the partnership and they do it without stress. And when the storms in their relationships come, they handle them as lessons and not as problems.
This love is more than soul deep, it is spirit deep (not religious spirit). Not everyone experiences this type of love because it comes to two people who are complete in themselves. This is rare. The two people do not “need” each other, they “choose” each other. It could takes someone many relationships before they find true love, but if one is lucky or patient, they can find true love the first time round regardless of the age. I know couples who fell in love in college and 60 years later are still together and still as much in love. I also know people who after 4 marriages are still looking for true love.
The truth beyond this question is that true love comes when you as a person loves yourself truly. Love is not about the external, it is what both people share internally. True love comes when both partners come to the relationship ready to give 100 percent to the other person not 50 percent. They recognise that together they have a purpose on this earth, and they do everything with this in mind. Breaking up or divorce is not an option.
Life together is journey for them and they take the journey with excitement. No matter what comes their way, as long as they are together they know they win. True love is unconditional and self sacrificing on both ends. True love is when two people become one, whilst still keeping their individual characters. True love is when two independent people, become inter-dependant, not co-dependant.
Well, that’s it from me this week folks. Until next week, God bless.
Minister Ann Ruthenburg (International Women of Authority and Destiny) (0714 487 470)
