Dear Tete Joyie:
My boyfriend has male-model looks, but no idea about how to treat a woman.
He is constantly playing with my emotions.
I am starting to question whether he is using me or not.
I met him when he came into the shop where I work to try on some pairs of jeans.
He is gorgeous, so I was in such a flap that he left without me giving him a receipt.
He later came back to ask for it and said: “While you are at it, can I get your number?”
I am 21, and I fell for him there and then.
He messaged that evening, then we met up at a food joint, ending the evening with love making at my lodging.
He is 25, and was hoping from one friend’s house to another, so I told him he could stay with me for a bit.
He has been with me for three months, and I thought we would be good together.
If I am honest, I feel pretty disappointed. I feel rejected a lot of the time.
He does not show me love.
The intimacy is not great anymore, and he never pays a thing towards the bills.
Tete Joyie says:
You are right. This is not a partnership. He is taking advantage of your kind nature.
Don’t let his handsome face bewitch you.
Ask yourself what he brings to the table, and from what you have written, his good looks are where it starts and ends.
Value yourself and accept that he is not the one for you.
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Don’t want to move in with boyfriend
Dear Tete Joyie:
My boyfriend is desperate for me to move in with him, and although I love him, it is the last thing I want.
We cannot go for more than a week without arguing.
We are going on holiday soon, and my partner gave me an ultimatum, saying he wanted a moving-in date, otherwise our relationship is over.
I hastily agreed to move in after the holiday, but now I am dreading going away, knowing that I will spend the whole time concocting another excuse.
I am 44 and my partner is 43.
We have been together for almost six years.
I stay in Murambi and my partner stays in Chikanga, and I am always making one excuse after another to duck the issue.
He has three children, and two of them have special needs and learning difficulties, the youngest being more severe.
I am more than happy with our current set-up, as I drive to his place on Thursday and stay over until Monday night.
But over the last year, he has become fixated on me moving in.
I like having my own space, and although I love his children, I find them very demanding.
He is becoming moody and always picking a fight. I am not sure what to do.
Tete Joyie says:
Being a step-parent is challenging, even when children don’t have additional needs.
He is becoming resentful because he senses that you are putting him off, and without a straight answer, he won’t understand why.
You will be far better off having an honest conversation.
So take a deep breath, tell him that you love him, and explain yourself about the current set-up.
There is no shame in admitting that you are not ready to take on her family full time.
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