The ManicaPost
Ann Ruthenburg
HELLO there friends, this week I am going to discuss something that is of great concern to me….domestic violence. In this article, I will cover three types of domestic violence. If you are the perpetrator of such in your marriage, please get professional help. If you are a victim of such abuse or violence, get help professional help. This is not a joke, it is serious. So here we go….Domestic violence has the following fruit — verbal rage, physical rage and emotional rage. Physical rage: Self loathing creates spousal abuse. And you express it by tantrums, control issues, mad because you just could not get your way and want to be heard. You also push for financial control and if you can’t have it you start breaking up things you paid for and acting like a mad person in front of your child(ren) .
Now your child looks at how to process rage by watching you because you are what they follow in the home. And listen men, your daughters are going to marry a man just like you who abuses her because that is what she has grown up with and it is a part of you. Your son is going to beat up or abuse his wife just like you are doing to him or his mother.
And you all wonder why your kids do not want to go with you to church. I will tell you, it is because you are the example of Jesus in their life and that alone makes them not want to even acknowledge him.
So women hold back their body (sex) from their husbands and men hold back money from their wives, both defrauding each other of necessary sustenance.
Just like a bully, they need to be felt to be respected and instead of earning it, they demand it and then force it. Making your partner suffer for your mood is no t okay, that is psychological and emotional abuse.
Verbal rage
It is when you say the things you know will hurt me and you say it with that intent. Your partner opens up to you one day and in a moment of anger you use his/her vulnerability against them. You belittle the one you promised to build up. Words have power which translates into action….’you are just like your father…you are fat and ugly no one wants you….’ your kids or partner are manifesting your words.
Some of you need to get an ammunition licence for your tongue, because some of you need to get trained on how to hold your tongue. There are people out there who just can’t hold back. They just have to say everything and then there are people who never say anything, that is just as abusive as the one who speaks too much. Silence can kill, just ask people in jail who have spent time in “solitary confinement” ,it reduces you to nothingness.
Emotional rage
Emotional rage is the result of not finding a way to communicate what you are frustrated about. These people shut the door of their heart and lock down. And humans are not built for that. Emotional rage leads to emotional abandonment. I tell people many times that when the partner stops communicating, they have moved out of the relationship a long time ago.
They are there in body, but left you long time in the emotion and mind. Maybe this is because in the past when they tried to say something you rejected them or shut them down or reduced them to stupidity. So they shut down and stop communication their emotions. Now there are people who are naturally quiet, I get it, and that is okay, these are not the people I am mentioning here.
Anger can be controlled. It does not just come on you, it warns you and if you entertain t, it will creep in. It is like an acid, it eats you up inside and demands you to feed it some more.
That is from me this week, until next week, God Bless!
Marriage Doctor can be messaged / whatsapped on 0772 933 845.
